Baker Mayfield and the Order of Berea

The most advantageous crossover event since Marvel’s Infinity War: The Cleveland Browns, re-imagined in the world of Harry Potter.

Meredith Kain
October 06, 2018 - 12:00 am

© Cary Edmondson-USA TODAY Sports

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During the pre-season, the night show crew was fighting an uphill battle with five Tuesdays in a row where we were up against HBO’s Hard Knocks for Cleveland’s attention, and Dan Menningen and I joked about how we could talk about whatever we wanted during the Hard Knocks Hour (tm).

During a break, Dan brought up Harry Potter and what the Browns would look like in JK Rowling’s Wizarding World.

We had this idea that Baker Mayfield was Harry Potter, because he is going to save the Browns from two decades of loss and heartbreak; from there we spiraled and found connections for about 25 characters from the books to current and former members of the Cleveland Browns.

So, without further ado - in the most advantageous crossover event since Marvel’s Infinity War: The Cleveland Browns (well, our Top 5), reimagined in the world of Harry Potter.

Baker Mayfield: Harry Potter; aka, The Boy Who Lived

A walk-on at Texas Tech. A walk-on at Oklahoma. And even though he was the first overall pick in the draft (The Chosen One) he still had to prove himself here in Cleveland, just as Harry Potter felt like he needed to prove himself in the Wizarding World. Harry Potter is the future of the Wizarding World. Baker Mayfield is the future of the Cleveland Browns.

Tyrod Taylor: Cedric Diggory

Cedric did his best to be a mentor to Harry and help him out when he had the opportunity, but Harry didn’t really need Cedric’s help. Tyrod was supposed to lead the Cleveland Browns and lead Baker Mayfield; Baker didn’t really need Tyrod’s help. Cedric was supposed to be Hogwart’s Tri-Wizard Champion, but Harry’s name was also pulled from the Goblet of Fire. Tyrod came to the Browns first, but Baker was chosen in the draft. Cedric tragically died by book 4. Tyrod - concussed - was gone by week 4.

John Dorsey: Albus Dumbledore

Albus Dumbledore knew that Harry Potter was the one. John Dorsey knew that Baker Mayfield was the one. Albus knew exactly what he was doing with Harry, as does Dorsey with Baker. Both Dumbledore and Dorsey are wise, and both are clearly the ones pulling the strings.

Hue Jackson: Severus Snape

Throughout the entire series, Snape is portrayed as a bad guy. After 1-31, we didn’t exactly have positive feelings towards Hue either. We’re never really quite sure what side Snape is on, but in the end (spoiler alert!) we do find out that he was on Dumbledore’s side the entire time. Hue wants wins for this team. He doesn’t want to see Baker fail. We may not realize it, but Hue is on Dorsey's side and Dorsey (hopefully) has full trust in Hue.

Joe Thomas: Sirius Black

Sirius Black was one of the missing pieces to Harry Potter’s family puzzle. Sirius was willing to do anything to help the Potters, including going to Azkaban. Joe Thomas put his body on the line for over 1,000 consecutive snaps because he loves the Browns so much. Sirius dies before he can take on the role of guardian and godfather for Harry. Joe Thomas injured his tricep and wound up retiring before he could be Baker’s protector at left tackle.

**BONUS**

Johnny Manziel: Lord Voldemort

We know exactly how Lord Voldemort’s #ComebackSZN went.